It is not surprising that the behavior of adolescents would be a study in change, since the brain itself is changing in such striking ways. Scientists emphasize that the fact that the teen brain is in transition doesn't mean it is somehow not up to par. It is different from both a child's and an adult's in ways that may equip youth to make the transition from dependence to independence. The capacity for learning at this age, an expanding social life, and a taste for exploration and limit testing may all, to some extent, be reflections of age-related biology.
Understanding the changes taking place in the brain at this age presents an opportunity to intervene early in mental illnesses that have their onset at this age. Research findings on the brain may also serve to help adults understand the importance of creating an environment in which teens can explore and experiment while helping them avoid behavior that is destructive to themselves and others. – The Teen Brain Still Under Construction
Hey Jenelle — you know, I think you've nailed it re: life tour guide. At this age, I found it's parenting by invitation, not by decree like it used to be! Here are three things that have helped us:
– When my 19yo asks if he can tag along on anything, I know he wants to talk and ask questions. So I try to listen and carefully "respond" not react, since the story tends to come out in dribs and drabs. I learned early on not to respond too soon or he'd clam up before I got to the punch line.
– I cover 100% of insurance (health of auto), medications, no questions asked. I provide a small budget that covers food and rent. He covers everything else — gas, what he wants but doesn't necessarily need, like new clothes and nights out. What I provide is certainly not enough, so he's getting a sense of budgeting.
– I've learned not to bring up 20 irritating questions about his life plan when we get together. Jeesh, even I was getting tired of hanging out with me! 🙂 Back to point #1 above…
xo Lisa
I’m taking notes!! Â Thanks for stopping by Lisa. – Jenelle
I worried do much about all sorts of things when I had teens living at home, but once at college, all that dissipated. Of course I still worried, but it was much much much less. Bottom line is that I trust my kids and that makes a huge difference!
Hey Heidi! Good point, trusting we did our best helps right. Your amazing, enjoy the weekend!